Meet Your Inner Critic

Cindy Fassler, a volunteer of The Job Forum and coach and executive staffing expert, wrote a fascinating essay on “Meet Your Inner Critic.” We share it for your benefit here:

We all have an inner critic – an inner voice that often appears uninvited, bringing with it doubts and insecurities. This voice tends to undermine our confidence, with messages like “You’re not qualified enough” or “Everyone else knows more than you.” The critic, (which Cindy has named Shirley,) often shows up when I’m about to take on something important or challenging, reminding me of past mistakes or hypotheticals that have yet to happen.

Rather than seeing Shirley as an enemy, I have decided view her as an overprotective force, much like a parent trying to keep me safe, but relying on outdated wisdom. Her role is to warn against potential dangers, but her advice is rooted in fear of the unknown, focusing on worst-case scenarios that rarely materialize. The louder Shirley gets, the more I realize I might be heading in the right direction—towards growth, bravery, or something meaningful.

To manage the inner critic, I follow a four-step approach which may be useful to you too:

I first acknowledge it, then thank Shirley for her concern. Next, I challenge her by asking, “Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?” Often, the answers reveal that her fears have no basis in reality. Finally, I reframe the criticism into something positive. With this process, I’ve learned that Sheryl’s presence isn’t a warning sign but rather a signal of progress and a sign that I’m on the verge of something great.

by Cindy Fassler, ( cindy@cindyfassler.com)